WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR APARTMENT
WHY DON'T YOU - why don't you play guitar on the floor, or fall asleep on the couch in the afternoon? Why do you always eat out?
Maybe you linger elsewhere because you dread returning to your lonely abode. It's not the apartment's fault you can't find solace within its walls. Rather, it seems you might be running from something within yourself.
dramatic mspaint silhouette drawing of person opening the door to their house
You say you want to stop fearing, stop avoiding. Have you ever considered your fear might be trying to tell you something? Make you face something you've been trying not to see... Because it's much easier to complain and hope for a quick fix, is it not?
florping down on the floor bc of tired and anxious and dead inside
But! In your confession of being adrift lies the first step towards finding your way back to shore.

(I don't think this is a manifesto at all to be honest. This is more like, i'm freaking out on the bus home crying and heaving. Do you ever feel like, the universe is a very bright place? And then earth is a little duller than the ideal, and then your town is maybe not the most radiant around, and when you approach your house it's like a cloud passing in front of the sun, climbing the stairs you notice colors fading, until you finally unlock the door and step in and it's dark and it's gray and no magic has ever graced these walls. Once the universe ends they will still be here because the universe can't permeate that far into nothingness. It doesn't want to touch it. You could survive oblivion in here bc such things are weaker than the radiating ennui. And the weird thing is, it's got nothing to do with the place itself. It follows you around. I love hotel rooms, btw, they're great.)

There could be manifestos here, though.